In long-term relationships, one common question often comes up: how often do married couples really spend quality time together? As relationships evolve, it’s natural to wonder what “normal” looks like when it comes to bonding as a couple. Spoiler alert: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer!
Let’s dive into what experts and research reveal about how often couples connect and why it’s not just about the numbers.
It’s About Quality, Not Quantity
Dr. Juli Slattery, a psychologist and relationship expert, explains that there’s no universal rule for how often couples should spend meaningful time together. Instead, she emphasizes that the focus should be on the quality of those moments. “It’s not about hitting a specific number,” she says, “but about fostering connection and enjoyment for both partners.”
What Research Tells Us
Studies offer helpful insights into general trends. Research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that married couples report spending meaningful time together about 56 times per year—roughly once a week.
While this provides a useful perspective, it’s important to remember that this is just an average, not a rule. Dr. Slattery highlights that every couple is different, and factors like work, stress, and family life can significantly influence how often couples focus on bonding moments.
Communication Is Key
Experts agree that open communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Talking about expectations, priorities, and preferences allows both partners to align their needs. Whether it’s weekly, monthly, or less frequent, the most important thing is that both people feel valued and connected.
Why Comparing to Others Isn’t Helpful
It’s easy to look at other couples and wonder if your relationship measures up, especially in a world filled with highlight reels on social media. But meaningful connection isn’t about matching someone else’s standards—it’s about understanding what works best for you and your partner. Every relationship is unique, and that’s what makes them special.
Final Thoughts
There’s no magic number for how often married couples should spend quality time together. What matters most is creating moments that strengthen the bond and nurture the relationship. Dr. Slattery and the referenced study both encourage couples to prioritize meaningful interactions over worrying about averages.
So, how often should couples connect? The answer lies in what keeps your relationship healthy and happy. Remember, it’s not about the calendar—it’s about the connection.
